marnanel | I will revise [filk]

This rather wonderful anonymous filk ran through my head again today, and I thought I'd share it with you. It was current when I was an undergraduate, and I don't know if people still remember it, or who wrote it. I thought it was a lovely example of the genre. Those outside the UK may like to note that almost all undergraduates can legally buy and drink alcohol, and that 2:ii ("two two") and third are degree classifications: it goes first > 2:i > 2:ii > third > pass > fail.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
Kept thinking I could never pass with no revision guide,
But then I spent so many nights… getting all the questions wrong,
And I grew strong,
And I learned I could scrape along;

I won't look back, to any place,
When I can swallow fifteen cans and get completely off my face,
I'd have studied by the clock,
I'd have had no spare time free,
If I'd thought for just one second my exams would bother me,

So all my notes… are on the floor,
Don't even matter… there's no rock night any more...
Weren't you the one who tried to get me to revise?
You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd work towards the skies?

Oh no, not I! I won't revise,
Unless I die of beer stains, I know I'll stay alive,
Though my money's at an end,
I've my overdraft to spend,
I won't revise,
I won't revise…

It took all the strength I had… not to act the part,
But in the end my real revision didn't even start.
I used to sit at home at night, feeling guilty to myself,
I used to try, but now I hold my head up high,

and you see me! Somebody new!
I'm not that mixed up weird bloke who wants a good 2:ii
So if you feel like dropping in, chances are that I'll be free,
Cos I've done sod-all revision, and I'm failing my degree,

Oh no, not I! I won't revise,
I think that I may scrape a third. I could be telling lies.
Let the lecturers all storm, my bed's too nice and warm,
I won't revise, I won't revise,
oh no!