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[personal profile] marnanel
"Hello. I've lost my NI number."
"Where are you living, sir?"
"Runnymede."
"Your details are not up to date. You will need to fill in a change of address form and post it in; then we can post you your NI number."
"I think the address you have on file..."
"I asked you where you were living, and you said Runnymede."
(inspiration) "Um... I am ALSO living in Cambridge. I am in the process of moving. I believe the address you have is Cambridge."
(pause, then) "Thank you, sir, I will send your NI number to Cambridge."

I am getting flashbacks to "Brazil" here.
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