Tailgaters

[marnanel]

A thread on a poetry forum is about "tailgaters": you take the first line of a famous poem, and make it into an often satirical couplet.

Here are some of mine:

Batter my heart, three-person'd God,
And serve it up with chips and cod.

It little profits that an idle king
Should dress up like a lumberjack and sing.

O why do you walk through the fields in gloves?
Protection when greeting my lady-loves.

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
But immigrants aren't welcome any more.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
July the fourth? Not quite. The first of May?

Milton! thou shouldst be living at this hour.
I need your disinfectant's cleansing power.

Someone else provided this, which I loved:

Something there is that does not love a wall.
But when I crap I like a private stall.

And I read this a long time ago and I forget where:

When I have fears that I may cease to be
I go and make myself a cup of tea.