Who better to quote for the centennial?

SUICIDE IN THE TRENCHES
by Siegfried Sassoon

I knew a simple soldier boy
Who grinned at life in empty joy,
Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,
And whistled early with the lark.

In winter trenches, cowed and glum,
With crumps and lice and lack of rum,
He put a bullet through his brain.
No one spoke of him again.

You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye
who cheer when soldier lads march by,
Sneak home and pray you’ll never know
The hell where youth and laughter go.

Salford Royal is not a cheese shop

I had to pick something up at Salford Royal's main reception desk. I walk for quite a way following signs. I reach a desk.

"Is this the main reception?"
"No, you want to go that way."

I go that way, and find a sign saying "Main Reception" pointing back the way I'd come. So I go back, and go to WHSmith's and ask for directions to the main reception, and a description of it. It is in fact the desk I found first. I return.

"Sorry," I say, "I mean I get confused easily, but people tell me this is the main reception."
"Oh no, this is car parking."
"So.. that sign behind you saying RECEPTION, that's not true?"
"Look, I told you, go that way and then down the stairs."
"Isn't that the way to Outpatients?"
"That's what you want, isn't it?
"No, I want the main reception."

But he sends me to Outpatients. Outpatients say, "Oh no, we're not the main reception, we're Outpatients."

"But the man on the main reception desk, who claimed it wasn't the main reception desk, said it was you instead."

"Oh, he's always doing that."

MAYBE HE USED TO RUN A CHEESE SHOP