Magical Mister MacFisheries

Today, while waiting for something, I was browsing around a petshop when I met the gentleman pictured above. He's at least two feet long. I asked the assistant about him and was told that he was a five-year-old arowana, and "a bit of a character". I determined then that: a) I would get a huge tank and have an arowana of my own one day, not that I have any room for one right now, and b) that this fish's name is Magical Mister MacFisheries. I may name my own arowana, when I find one, in his honour.

If I could talk to buses

If I could talk to buses,
What a tale this bus could tell!
Where did it get that stain from?
What's the source of the vomit smell?
When you reach your stop in the pouring rain
With drunks upon your seats,
You know that bus is me.
And you won't ride that bus again
Because your oyster's down to 50p.

Humpty Dumpty